What a Happy Marriage Gives You

Don't take it against me, but I'm a happily married woman. I think that of all my achievements in life, my marriage is the most valuable. What makes it valuable are the dozens of shitty relationships that I had in the past. (What can I say? I'm a sexy attractive woman!) They're enough to make any woman wonder if it's all worth the heartaches and disappointments.

I've always been a dreamer (did you sing that?) and despite of all my past failed relationships, I've managed to hold on to my dream that some day, I will find the right person to spend my life with... and I did.

Many couples are trapped in unhappy marriages. They often choose to be trapped because it takes a lot of courage to admit that we made the wrong decision and things didn't turn out the way we wanted. Not only is admitting it to yourself hard, doing something about it is harder. Cutting the bonds of marriage requires a lot of work. It's an ugly business that even when the separation happens amicably, you can see tears and harsh words littering the path to freedom.

Marriage Takes Two... Your Spouse and You

It saddens me when I read articles on how Marriage is about making your partner happy even at the cost of your own happiness. That it's admirable and virtuous to be a willing sacrifice on the Altar of Love. Even in our modern age, many people still think this way. Maybe that's why more people are getting a divorce! The roles of couples are not as defined as they used to be and men and women share the marital responsibilities. Why does anyone have to make a sacrifice? If you believe that sacrifice is required to make a marriage work, I say you're mistaken... and I hope this article changes your mind.

Can You Remove Sugar Totally?

When I tell people that they can remove sugar from their lives, I get a blank stare. As in, what? Shut up! We've been so used to having sugar with almost everything we eat that we can't imagine what we are going to eat - if it doesn't have sugar!

The love of sugar is an addiction due to the dopamine released in the brain upon consumption. Remember the term Sugar Fix? But like any substance dependence, if you find a substitute, you can get away from it. The problem is, sugar is sometimes hidden between the lines. If you want to really get rid of it, you need to educate yourself. You need to know the many names of sugar and you need to read the labels.

Why do you need to go to all the trouble? What's the big deal?

The Hard Truths I Learned

We go through life and we learn... it's either we learn or we die while still living. The lessons come at a high price and that's what makes them valuable. We need to use them to make our lives better, easier, richer, more fruitful and worthwhile. Otherwise, the lessons will be useless. 

Imagine... all that trouble for nothing?

There are people who walk before us,  and we should listen and take what we can from their stories. We can judge, and believe that we can do better - maybe that's true, maybe we will - if we learn from their mistakes.

It's foolishness to think that other people's experiences have no purpose... they do... 

They're guides, a peek into our own futures. It can show you what you need to watch out for, what to avoid, what to follow. Those who walk before us stumble in their paths, so they can show us the way... and I, for one, appreciate their stumbling. When I walk their paths, I will know to be wary on the points where they stumbled.

But many of us prefer not to listen to the lessons they share. We want to see and feel with out own eyes, before we believe.

The Fear of Being Alone - What's It Like to be Single Again?

A long, long time ago, just like everyone else, I didn't want to be alone. I still don't of course, but way back in my reckless youth, this need dictated most of my decisions. It was THE driving force of my life. This fear was so strong that I was willing to do the silliest things and compromise just so I can make my relationships work. 

I blame most of my failed relationships with my fear of being alone and my inexperience. If I wasn't so afraid, I wouldn't have gone through half of the shit that I had to go through. But, I realize that it's a necessary experience. If I didn't go through them, then I wouldn't be the independent woman that I am now. I'd still be clinging to relationships that were less than what I deserved, and convincing myself that they were good enough.

I'd like to be all wise and say that I shouldn't think of failed relationships as wasted time, but really they were. Wasted time, wasted effort, wasted tears - damn all the lessons they taught me. While you're in that situation, you don't feel wise and grateful! After a failed relationship, you get a broken heart, broken dreams, shattered hopes and that dreaded feeling of "aloneness". Total Fail.

Many women, and even men, stay in relationships because they can't imagine what they'll do after they leave. I guess, the devil you know is still better than the devil you don't know. But I think the fear of being single again affects women more. Women tend to make their relationships the focal point of their lives. Their whole being and time are focused around it. Take the relationship away and they'd have to rebuild their lives, the physical and emotional aspect of it, from scratch. That thought is enough to scare anyone and keep you where you are.. even if you're miserable.

Phases of Coping with a Cheating Partner.. Before You Let Go

Having a cheating partner is for me, the worst thing that can happen to anyone. It drains your self-esteem, humiliates you, cheapens you and just makes you question the goodness of everything. It doesn't matter what reasons or justifications are given... It's destructive and it hurts.

I believe, that if you no longer want to be with someone and you're not happy anymore - then have the guts to let the other person go. Cheating on someone who loves you is the lowest and most cowardly act.

Is your partner cheating on you?

We are not obliged to stay with someone who makes us unhappy - but we are expected not to knowingly hurt people, even if we think they deserve it. Letting go of someone you don't want anymore, is a more honorable choice than cheating on them and justifying it.