Why Is It So Hard To Love Yourself?

We all say, "I Want Happiness" and some wise person will respond, remove the "I", remove the "Want" and you'll find happiness. Well, if that's the case, why don't we just all kill ourselves then if the "I"is not so important? Maybe we can release our nameless, faceless soul into the void and be happy. It's the most absurd thing, to say that the "I" is preventing our happiness.

If there is no "I", then where will all the yearning for happiness come from? Happiness would not have any meaning if someone's desires were not being satisfied.

I've always been a believer in the philosophy, that before we can do or be anything, we must first have dreams and visions of who we are and what we want in life... and those thoughts come from our knowledge of ourselves. What do we believe? What do we want? What do we envision life to be? All of these self affirmations come from our rational brain, where dreams are born and made - the "I". 

Confusion comes when we try to forget ourselves, like they say. We lose our way and become unhappy when we try to set aside what we love, what we need, to conform to what society tells us to be. When we transform into something else other than what we are, We sacrifice our own happiness, because they say it is evil and that living for other people is virtuous and good. Self sacrifice is elevated as a virtue. Which is why we go to bed at night, feeling empty and unfulfilled, even though we are surrounded by the things and people we work so hard to keep.

Know and love yourself first. Everything we do should be for the purpose of fulfilling our dreams and deepest desires. To bring us closer to the person we want to be. We don't need to sacrifice ourselves on the altars to be good and worthy. Our self is not evil. You are not evil just because you dream and have needs. It is not selfishness to want to be happy in this life. It is only when you hurt other people and wish them harm that you become evil. But in our every day lives, self love is necessary if we want to be a person of value.

Think about these things, and you'll know it's true.

We cannot give, what we do not have.

We cannot love someone else, if we have no love inside.

We cannot give happiness, if we ourselves are miserable.

We cannot help, if we ourselves have nothing.

We cannot guide, if we can't even find our own way.

Before we can say I Love You with any meaning at all, there must be a whole person in there to represent the "I". Otherwise, what we will be doing is passing off our needs and wants for another person to fulfill. Using another's love to try and fill the emptiness inside. See, it takes two strong halves to make a whole. If you are not whole, then what you are offering is a broken half, which is not really fair to anyone.

So... love yourself. Be kind to yourself first. Forgive yourself first. Fulfill your dreams first. Before you even think of other people. Otherwise, you will resent people when they don't make you feel the way you think you deserve to feel.

Give yourself the love you need. It's harder to love yourself than to love other people... to forgive yourself.. to give yourself a break... to motivate,.. to encourage... all these things that we try to give others, and wait for others to give us - GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. You deserve it.

Fill your well first before you offer it to others.,,
Because they will have nothing to take... if your well is dry.