The Hard Truths I Learned

We go through life and we learn... it's either we learn or we die while still living. The lessons come at a high price and that's what makes them valuable. We need to use them to make our lives better, easier, richer, more fruitful and worthwhile. Otherwise, the lessons will be useless. 

Imagine... all that trouble for nothing?

There are people who walk before us,  and we should listen and take what we can from their stories. We can judge, and believe that we can do better - maybe that's true, maybe we will - if we learn from their mistakes.

It's foolishness to think that other people's experiences have no purpose... they do... 

They're guides, a peek into our own futures. It can show you what you need to watch out for, what to avoid, what to follow. Those who walk before us stumble in their paths, so they can show us the way... and I, for one, appreciate their stumbling. When I walk their paths, I will know to be wary on the points where they stumbled.

But many of us prefer not to listen to the lessons they share. We want to see and feel with out own eyes, before we believe.

I've learned many things in my life... the lessons are mine and I guard them fiercely. They're my truths. But I know that wisdom unshared is useless. That's why I'm sharing mine with you...

A College Degree Doesn't Make a Person Intelligent   

Your education can help make life easier. You can get a job quicker than most if you have a degree... an MBA is even better. But I learned that being educated and intelligent is not all about college degrees. Don't be discouraged if you lack a degree - it's not what defines you. If you were not given the opportunity to earn a degree, don't lose hope. There are other ways to educate yourself and compete in the world and be successful. A genuine interest, a curious mind and a great deal of common sense and determination will work just as well. Learn what you can, where you can. Really, some people with degrees from good schools don't even know what to do with it... That's proof that it's not all about what course you finished. You want to learn about something? Google it.

Life Goes On Whatever You're Feeling

" People change and things go wrong... 
but just remember, life goes on."

It will leave you behind if you cannot follow. It doesn't matter if you feel like your whole world has just collapsed around you. Life will go on, with or without you. It will not wait for you to get up on your feet. So, don't waste your life whining and griping about the injustices of the world. Life doesn't care. Get up and just do what needs to be done.

The Good That You Do Will Not Always Bear Fruit

We all do good because we expect that we will get something good in return. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it doesn't. No matter how close a person is to you, there will be times when they will disappoint you. You can only share your values and beliefs to people, but you can't expect them to have the same. It is these expectation that make you disappointed when they don't deliver. 

Do good because you want to do good, for your own reasons. Don't expect the same in return just because you think you deserve it. There will be moments in your life where someone's actions will validate your faith in goodness, but there will also be moments when you will ask yourself if it pays to be good at all. Yes, it pays... and sometimes, just doing good is a reward in itself. It doesn't even have to be returned.

Heroes Often Fail

The more you try to do, the more mistakes you'll make. People who try to change the world and make a difference are not perfect. The only thing that makes heroes special is their desire to make things better for you, for everyone. Who are the people in your life who are trying to be your heroes? When you see them, cut them some slack and just appreciate their efforts. Encourage them. Keep them strong. Be thankful for their efforts. Geez, even Superman made a lot of mistakes. Give them a break... or better yet, lend a hand. Even heroes need assistance too, sometimes.

Pain Fades.. No Matter How Much You're Hurting Now

No matter what happened to you, believe me, pain fades. There will come a time when you'll get bored with the pain. Yes, bored. Of course, it's up to you if you want to go through it again and again. You can just repeat the same actions which brought you this pain in the first place, or dwell on it and feed it like a hungry baby. When we're hurting, we think it's the end of the world... it sure feels that way. But you know what, my Mother was right... Time does heal all wounds. 

One day, you will look at that painful moment and remember how much it hurt you, but it will not hurt the same way. Maybe you'll feel sadness at the memory, maybe anger, and maybe you'll even laugh at yourself... but that's all. Pain fades. Only memories remain. What you do with the memories is totally up to you. It can become a scar or a wisdom.

You Don't Know Everything

You may be an Einstein but there's always something new to learn, another point of view to consider. You cannot know everything.. and you don't. So don't go around thinking that you have all the answers. Listen to other minds, consider other opinions and research first before you shoot down new perspectives and ideas. It is the mark of intelligence to be able to consider new facts before making a judgement. Don't be a boring, one-sided, know-it-all.

People Will Believe What They Want To Believe

Facts don't matter. Proof won't matter. People will believe what they want to believe. So don't live your every day trying to get people's approval of you, your opinions, or your life. You don't need to prove yourself to everyone. I've seen countless people whose actions were based on other people's opinions. They fed on the approval and applause of people who don't really give a shit about them. It was a useless effort. Care only about the opinions of those who genuinely care for you. The rest of the world can think what they want. They will anyway.

Your Faith Is Influenced By Where You Were Born

I don't know why people are fighting over Religion, trying to prove that theirs is the one and only way. Your faith is largely influenced by where you were born. If you were born in the Philippines, you'll likely be Christian or Catholic, or if you live in the South, Muslim. If you were born in the Middle East, you'll probably be Muslim. If you were born in China, you'll be a meditating Buddhist. If you were born in India, you'll be Hindu. Get it? Don't argue over religion. To each his own belief. You can't hide behind your religion and expect that it will define you as a human being. You are not better than anyone else because of what you believe. 

The Partner You Choose is Very Important to your Success and Happiness in Life

Much of your happiness and woes in life will be caused by the person you choose to spend your life with. I know there's a lot of sayings about not putting your happiness in someone else's hands... that's a lot of crap. Even if you're personally successful and happy, if you have a partner who is not supportive, appreciative and does not have the same goals and desires as you, they can make your life a living hell. So, choose well. Take your time.

Leadership is about Character not Skills

No amount of college degree or training can make a person a good leader. Concepts do not make good leaders... Good people make good leaders. It doesn't matter if you're the best at what you do, if your character is weak, you're not fit to lead people. Leading people is a big responsibility. You cannot share what you do not have inside you. You cannot teach strength if you are weak. You cannot guide if you don't really care. A good leader has good values to share and leaves their subordinates better people because of their presence. You cannot call yourself a leader just because you have a high position. You may be a boss, but that's not the same as being a leader.

Life is About Learning and Loving... That's All

No one really knows what happens when we die. There are theories but the truth is, WE DON'T KNOW. So learn everything you can about the wonders of this life... Let love guide your actions and let it be your priority. Everything else you do should be the means to an end.... and the end is to love and to learn. When you leave this life, you'd have done well if you were able to share your love and wisdom with those around you.

Sometimes, You Must Let Go

We hate letting go... even when it's no longer working out. People, work, feelings, stuff... we just hate letting go. To some, letting go can mean failure and change, and if there's something we hate more than letting go, it's change. But sometimes, letting go and moving on is better for your own growth and happiness. If a person or situation is doing you more harm than good, even after making an effort to make things better, then it's time to just move on to something else. We cannot force what we want on people, on situations. Find something else that's more compatible with your goals.

People Don't Change Just Because You Want Them To

Relationships fail  because we expect people to change to conform to what we want them to be. Well, it's not going to happen. A man who drinks and enjoys being out all night with his friends is not going to change when you get married. A man who likes women too much will not like them less when he becomes your husband. A woman who doesn't like housework will not start liking it when she becomes your wife... 

Most disappointments are caused by unrealistic expectations. Yes, some people change when they want to, but those are exceptions, not the norm. I believe that as people become older, they improve on their basic character but they don't really change. They don't suddenly become the person in your mind. So, choose a person based on the traits they have right now, and not for what you envision them to be in the future. You will be disappointed and they will resent you for it.

Ok, that's all I can think of right now and this article has gone on and on...
Most lessons in life are not pretty.. that's why they're called hard truths... but it doesn't mean that they have no value. They do. They can keep you from living under a blanket of illusions.

Life can be ugly and cruel and harsh... but it can also be beautiful and fulfilling if you live it with your eyes wide open.

What lesson's have you learned in life? I'd love to hear about them if you'd like to share. Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Every lesson learned is important.

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